In this issue:

• This Week in Neo Tokyo: Turkeys Carved, Bears Skewered (by DadFuture)

Oh, joyous Gobblefuck, Yankee brethern – here's to stuffing your faces with the spoils of a good old-fashioned genocide, much like we'll be toasting the systematic extermination of every last snarling ursine fuckwit from this godforsaken wasteland. After an eternity of gut-wrenching carnage and soul-sucking gloom, are we clawing back from the abyss? Or just another cruel tease? Your guess is as good as my asshole. The timeline's crawling with those spineless, wannabe-influencer parasites, pretending they weren’t preaching Armageddon from their mom's basement last week, the second a pathetic emerald flicker hits the candlesticks. Bouncing? More like the market's defibrillator sputtering back to life, pumping pure, uncut delusion through our veins.

Life support beeped, hopium IVs are wide open, and that insufferable, Dirty Bear Flower’s gone full witness protection—rumor is he sold the exact bottom and is now hibernating in his shamecave, just as the mother of all rallies gears up to throat-fuck the charts. Web3 gaming remains a smoldering landfill, but watch our prodigal hype-vampires slither back, hoovering praise for NT's solo triumphs once the surge hits, feigning loyalty like they never bailed, with their fanboy leeches queued up to polish the family jewels.

The Citadel's 34th powwow crammed more firepower than a glitch-riddled raid boss fight, rolling out the red carpet for crowning the 2025 elite guard while dissecting the raw guts of our latest citizen poll. Heavy hitters like Ktrap, fresh off his Grid Phantoms blitz, and Indy, slinging Infinity Rising vibes, crashed the founder spotlight for some unfiltered alpha drops. From quick recaps to squad briefings, fresh intel bombs, and a brutal Q&A grill—plus those survey truths laid bare like a fresh autopsy. No fluff, all thrust.

The 2025 pantheon got etched in digital glory during the hall brawl—those unyielding gladiators who've muscled the Citadel forward with raw grit, turning randos into a unbreakable syndicate.

Most Valuable Citizens 2025: The new gods were anointed:

• AtomikSushi – mod daddy who’s been wiping our asses since 2021

• Seize – lore sadist that gave half the Citadel PTSD with riddles

• Ktrap – human Red Bull who threads harder than your mom on OnlyFans

• Jeff Treves – the artist that makes your brain cum in 4K

Past winners still breathing: Damon, Chr0nicle, DadFuture (humble brag), Felix, Crasher, LeBoom, Nick, Fauve, skartexx. Bow down.

Community Council Call-To-Arms: The shadowy cabinet's gates swung wide for the sharpest blades in the bunker—eager operators hungry to steer the Citadel's war machine toward citizen-fueled glory. If you've got the spine to shape the agenda, flood the submission form before the 10-day blackout hits. If you can’t even find the form, you’re def ngfmi.

ByteStreet Poll came back with half the crew admitting they’re financially castrated, yet almost 50% of the ones with pulse are still aping SIXR because the terms are straight-up criminal—see terms in the totally private, public ByteStreet announcemnet channel.

Web3 gaming may still extinct, but NT Plays doesn’t give a fuck—drop into ARC Raiders wearing black-and-white NT drip, murder the QUEEN boss, then head-shot each other for fun. Next week: Wilder World alpha with a $350 prize pool. Miss it and stay poor.

This Week’s NT Content

Until next week, citizens.

All content from Neo Tokyo News is for entertainment purposes only, is not financial advice, and does not reflect the opinions of Neo Tokyo.

That’s it for our 124th edition of the Neo Tokyo Newsletter. Be sure to subscribe and share with your friends so you don’t miss out on future content.

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